We Are the Caesars

Proudest day of my life.

We arrived at the courthouse at 10:15 and waited for Olga to arrive. We waited in a busy reception area full of people waiting to authenticate documents or who knows what. Olga came in, all "Olgaed out" and we briefly went over the most important details of the case. I met Anelya on August 10, but officially started bonding with her on August 12, when she became available off the registry. I did so at the invitation of the baby house director and so on... Then the Baby House Director arrived. We went through the same details. Yes, I know I saw four babies. Yes August 10, but August 12. Yes.

Then the prosecutor arrived and greeted me with a nice smile and hello. She and Olga seemed to be very friendly which was no surprise at all. Olga should have a show like Oprah. Anyway, the prosecutor seemed nice enough. I was shaking like a leaf. I wasn't really nervous, just emotional. Helen, my interpreter, sweetly squeezed my arm and calmed me. We were invited into the courtroom on time. The representative from the Ministry of Education had not yet arrived, but we began anyway.

I was asked to state my name for the court record. My address. My citizenship. My date of birth. Then they did this with everyone in the room, except Mom. They asked who Mom was. The judge said, she does not have any legal weight on this case, so if the prosecutor objects to her being here we can ask her to wait outside. The prosecutor said this was not necessary and it was a symbol of my family's support of my choice to adopt.

The judge looked at me and said, "Why are you here?" and I began my speech:

My name is Andrea Hutton Caesar and I stand before you in this court, Your Honor, because I have wanted to be a mother my whole life. I am a 34 year old single woman, who dreams of having a big family. I made a decision to be sure that I marry the right man and not just because I want to have a family. I have not found the right man for me yet, and so I have chosen to pursue international adoption as a means of starting my family right now.

I live in a beautiful area of the country with clean air, a clean freshwater lake, and many opportunities to enjoy the outdoors. I live in a nice house in a neighborhood filled with children and big houses. I come from a loving family who is very large and values education. It is my dream to provide the kind of opportunities for my own child, as my parents have done for me. Family is very supportive of my choice to expand our family through international adoption. My mother has made the trip from the United States and has stayed in Semey not only to bond with the baby, but also to represent the support of my entire family in pursuing this adoption.

I made the decision to adopt in December 2007 and in January 2008, I signed on with Little Miracles International to help me prepare my documents and travel and to walk me through the process. With their help, I prepared my dossier and submitted it to the Consulate of Kazakhstan in New York. It was registered on October 17, 2008. I received my Letter of Invitation from Kazakhstan's Ministry of Education dated July 15, 2009 and was invited to apply for a visa during the period August 10, 2009 and November 10, 2009 for the purpose of adopting a child.

I arrived to the Semey Baby House on August 10, 2009 and had a lengthy meeting with the Baby House Director and a representative from the Ministry of Education. They asked me all about myself, my family, my home, and what type of child I wanted to adopt. It was at that meeting that I met Elemecova Anelya Ahatovna and I fell in love immediately. I indicated that this is the child I would like to bond with. I was aware that she would not be available off the registry until August 12, 2009, but accepted the Baby House Director's invitation to visit her beforehand anyway, although it would not count toward my legal bonding period.

During the time I have spent with Anelya, she has started to eat solid food. She has been fed the majority of her solid food by me. She has learned how to sit up. She anticipates my arrival in the morning and looks in the direction of the way I enter when she is being changed every morning. She reaches for me, even when she is the in the arms of her favorite caregiver. She is no longer interested in sitting, as she has now learned to jump and never wants to stop! (Everyone laughed) Anelya has learned in the past two days to drag herself and I do not think it will be long before she is crawling.

When I first met Anelya, she was a quiet, calm and sweet girl. Throughout my time here I have watched her develop a personality and an opinion. She is very curious about everything. She knows when I purposely forget one of her toys in my bag and looks for it. Anelya is now a baby full of smiles and laughs. She is a different child than she was just three weeks ago.

I have never known a love like this before. I do not know how to explain this love, because it is new to me. I have never wanted anything more than to be this child's mother. Your Honor, I would like to ask the court to make my dream come true today. I would like to ask you to legally make me the mother of Elemecova Anelya Ahatovna and put my name, Andrea Hutton Caesar on her birth certificate. I would like to change her name to Anelya Porter Caesar. Porter is my father's first name and it is a name of great honor. You may leave her place and date of birth as they are. I would ask that Your Honor not indicate a father on her birth certificate. Your Honor, I would like to thank you for taking the time to listen to me.

Then the judge invited the Baby House Director to indicate his support of my case. The entire time all of this was happening, Helen had her mouth planted right next to my ear and it was almost like having one of those UN monitors in your ear. She was simultaneously translating everything everyone was saying. It was amazing and I am SO GLAD that I requested a new translator for this purpose. The Baby House Director indicated that he fully supports this adoption. Then the representative from the Ministry of Education stood and described how she had observed me with Anelya during the time I have been here and how she has become more flexible, how she has seen me rock her to sleep next to my chest, how she anticipates my arrival and reaches for me when I come toward her. She explained how the baby house is well run and a good place for orphaned children, but that all children dream of having a mother and that the care is just not the same without one. She said she has never seen such a young woman with such a mature and loving heart and that they could all sit there and make legal decisions, but that Anelya has already made the decision for all of them. (Cue the bawling)

Then the prosecutor asked me if I owned my house. I responded that my family owns my house, but that I live there alone and it is considered my house. She said that I am a beautiful young woman who will surely find a husband (I'm glad she thinks so! haha) and how would that affect Anelya. Would I give her up? I indicated that we are a package deal and No way, thank you very much. The judge asked if I am aware of her health conditions and I told her that yes I was and that I was prepared to get her all of the medical attention necessary.

The judge asked Olga to state her case on my behalf. Olga reiterated what I said and gave more details about the two years of efforts and endless paperwork which has gone into the preparation of this case. She said that she can feel my emotional attachment to Anelya when she sees us together and when I talk about her. She said I am serious about becoming a mother and she has no doubt that all of the evidence we have provided supports this fact.

The judge asked the prosecutor if she had any objections to this case and she said no. The judge then asked us to go outside the courtroom for a moment while she made her decision. We were asked to reenter after about two minutes. The judge went through a seemingly endless speech for the record about the process I have been through, the various Ministries and parties who have approved my case and the supporting documents. She stated that none of the various parties in the room objects to the adoption and she "Hereby accepts my application to become the legal mother of Elemecova Anelya Ahatovna, now Anelya Porter Caesar, given the 15 day appeal period during which I or any parties can appeal this acceptance."

And the tears started a flowin' !!!! Even my interpreter was crying. I told you I could make everyone cry! I thanked the judge from the bottom of my heart and she smiled warmly. I thank the prosecutor and she looked at me and my mom and said, "Now you will be three girls! Just like a movie!" And with that, court was history and the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.

After court with Helen, my interpreter.

Mom, Andrea, Baby House Director, Rep from Ministry of Education

Rep from Ministry of Education, Baby House Director, Olga, Andrea, Helen (interpreter extraordinaire!)

After court, we went to the baby house and Anelya was sleeping and would be for two more hours. So, I asked Pasha to please take us to the Maternity Hospital #2 where Anelya was born on January 15, 2009. As you might have noticed, I am writing down every detail so that Anelya will know as much as possible about her history. I am even thinking about writing several books, adding information and new pictures as they become age appropriate.

Mom and I outside Maternity Hospital #2 in Semey.

Maternity Hospital # 2 Sign

The hospital

We took Pasha and Helen to lunch for one last hurrah at Istanbul Picnic and then made our way back to the baby house. We were expecting to see the Director at 2p.m. I entered his office, thanked him again and told him how impressed I was with his work and the baby house. I told him that I had a gift for his wife in the paper bag, because everyone's wife should have a gift. He laughed. Then I told him that his gift is in the form of a letter. I explained to him that I have thought so long and hard about what to give him and I think that a man of such prestige has everything he could need or want and so, I have decided to donate 200.000 Tenge in his name to the Semey Baby House Window Project via LMI. This will pay for two windows. He beamed and thanked me so much. I also told him that my friend Jennifer and I will be throwing a fundraiser in November for the same project and that all of the proceeds will be sent via LMI to benefit the project (more info on this fundraiser to come). He was elated. I told him that I would be making the full trip back to Semey to pick Anelya up and what could the baby house use? He said everything, especially clothes and diapers. So, I will be bringing at least two suitcases full of diapers and baby clothes. If your kiddos have outgrown their diaper size and clothes, feel free to send 'em my way! Bibs and crib bedding too.

Anyway, back to Anelya. We went for the two o'clock visit and played with her. She was kind of groggy today, but came out of her shell after a while. She likes to flirt with her boyfriends Birshan and Islam. I will deal with that behavior later. It's actually quite funny. She looks to make sure the boys are watching and then she gets this huge smile and starts jumping like, "Look what I can do! See? This is my Mama. You will have one soon too!" It was so cute.

Our first picture as Andrea and Anelya Caesar

Our first picture of three generations of Caesar/O'Rourkes!

Mom, Anelya, Andrea, Farida and Alia

Ok, so a little more curl and she totally has the Caesar fro!

Hurricane Pasha arrived and it was time to take Anelya to get her passport photo taken. It was about 65 degrees outside, so of course Anelya had to wear a snowsuit. I mean this poor kid was dripping in sweat, so once I got her in the car I stripped her down a little. She was totally overstimulated and basically stared ahead the whole way. She was fine and calm though and kept looking up to make sure I was there.

Our first car ride together

We went in and Pasha had already given me explicit instructions as to how to operate in the photo store. Go straight back, take off her snowsuit, remove pacifier and take off her hat. He didn't tell me to adjust her barrette, but I did, of course. Then sit down, hold her hands down and pull her jacket down so it doesn't cover her face. Check! Except wait! Anelya is so amazingly strong! We had a little bit of a battle, but mostly because I was afraid she would scream if I held her little hands down too hard, but I did and... she didn't, so we were done. That's it.


Ok, back to the baby house and 15 more minutes of playing before... nap time, which also meant goodbye for now. I thought I was going to do ok, but I started bawling and then Mom started. It was pretty brutal. I was lucky though, because Anelya's favorite caregiver, Farida, was on duty, so she was quite happy to go to her and go down for a nap. Farida came out and gave me a hug and said, "You know I love Anelya. Don't worry about her. I will watch her and show her the picture album you left her everyday. You go get your house ready and we will see you in October with her grandfather." It was so sweet. Bless her.

Our last moments together were quite snuggly.

And this was the last vision I had of my Anelya from this trip.

Anelya Porter Caesar

After we left Anelya, we dropped Mom off at the hotel so she could start packing. I went back to the baby house and left six weeks of diapers for Anelya. I was not asked to do this, but I did it as a donation to the baby house and to make sure my daughter's hooha doesn't get cold while I am away. TMI. Whatever, by now you all know way too much about us anyway. Then I went to Kulinaria Aristocrat one last time and bought some dinner and some breakfast. Then I went back to Park City to buy a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label for Igor.

When I got back to the hotel, Helen showed up with some documents for me to sign regarding Anelya's medical history. Some new things mirculously popped up again, but I am not worried. I will be taking her to a Russian speaking adoption doctor very soon, so it should all be fine and we will figure out what is real and what is bogus, etc. Ahhh the world of international adoption.

Olga then stopped by and talked our ears off about everything under the sun. She said we had touched her heart and made her laugh. She was impressed that Mom is such a "lady" and cannot believe she looks so young and does she use some special creams or something. LOL. She brought us a wonderful 2009 calendar with Anelya's passport photo smack in the center of a huge heart. Oh my is it cute! I knew that they do this, but I had forgotten.

Then Olga told us about how she got to a point where she was humbled enough to no longer be a "know it all". Turns out that in the 90's she hosted a tv show about crime. Seriously, I cannot think of a better suited person for such a program. She thought she was the best at everything, she said. She knew it all. She was invited to record an interview with a man who sat on death row. They told her to dress accordingly, but because she thought she could "kill the fly while she was flying, just like Obama (huh?)" she decided to wear a mini skirt and cleavage-showing top... this is pretty much Olga's standard uniform. Anyway, she got there and she thought she knew better so she said the guard should stay outside. After all, who would want to watch an interview of a guy on death row if there were guards all around her? So, we are back in the 90's and she has a long 15 foot long cord attached to her microphone which she is told she should keep very tight while interviewing this 7 foot tall man with a bald head and a tattoo on the back of his head that says "Made in USSR". She knew better, so she let the cord lie loosely on the floor. And then the man took the cord and started to pull both ends of and look at her and then he came at her. A gazillion guards rushed in from everywhere and saved Olga. And that, my friends, is how Olga became a reformed know-it-all. Why did she tell us this story? I have no idea. We never know why. But she certainly is entertaining.

So tonight, for the first time, I go to bed a mom. Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes. We have now climbed into bed and will get up at 6a.m. tomorrow to get ready for our 7:30a.m. pick up for our 8:30 flight to Almaty. We will get a hotel room in Almaty for the day and evening and will be picked up around 1a.m. for our 3:30a.m. flight to Frankfurt. We have a six hour layover there and may or may not get a hotel room in the meantime. We will arrive in Boston at 2:30p.m. on Saturday. I don't expect to blog again until I get home, although I may update you on the way as to our progress via my Blackberry.

Good night, everyone. Good night, Semey. Good night, Anelya. Mommy will be back soon to get you and then we will be together. Forever.