This is an entry of raw emotion, so please bear with me.
Now, understand that I have been in this process as a single mom from the start, so I have really thought this through. I know I can do this. I hope it is only natural to get nervous as the time approaches. Can I give Lily everything she needs? Is it fair for me to adopt a baby who might not ever have a father? I mean, I have no problem switching into mama mode, I have done that quite well in the past with a former boyfriend who had kids that I loved and cared for as my own. But I wonder, am I doing the right thing? I have answered these questions a thousand times and the answer is always yes, of course. But I am scared. I am scared to be alone. I wonder if I am worthy of caring for such a precious angel on my own.
Don't get me wrong, I am not having second thoughts. I am just on an emotional roller coaster right now. When you have been pregnant for 18 months, this is allowed ;-) I could use some encouragement from the peanut gallery. Thanks for indulging me in blowing off steam. I need some hugs this week. Many of you know why. xoxo
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1 comment:
I am your number 1 supporter. I know that so many things in your life recently have made you look at your situation, but I am here to tell you that you CAN DO THIS. You've wanted Lily since the beginning of time, and although things have not worked out like you wanted, Lily is meant to be yours. If someday you meet Mr. Right he will be a lucky man to get you and your daughter. Until then this journey is about you and Lily. Having been pregnant for 22 months before travelling, I know that the waiting SUCKS. However, it pays off.
Lily is waiting for her Momma and when you two are united all this waiting and heartache will make perfect sense.
You are a strong independant woman who is going to give your daughter an amazing life. A life full of opportunities.
I'm sending you HUGS galore and you are in my prayers. Keep your eye on the prize, Lily is just getting herself ready.
XOXOXOXO
Sandi
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