Dear Lily,

Dear Lily,

My name is mama. I am not sure who you are yet, or where you are in Kazakhstan, or even if you have been born yet. But I want you to know that I am thinking of you. I think of you every minute of every day. I don't know what you look like, but I am sure I will recognize you when I see you. I am not sure how you sound, yet I can hear you like you are beside me right now.

I want you to know how many people there are here that are anxiously awaiting your arrival. There are so many people who are helping to get you here. It's really quite astonishing. There are also two little dog friends who know you are coming. They are not quite sure what to make of it when I tell them that "the baby Lily is coming," but Gunnar does look under the couch for you every time I say that.

I taped the paint swatches to the walls in your room the other day. There are four colors; yellow, green, blue, and pink. I'm not too much of a pink frilly kind of mama, so a variety of cute baby-friendly colors seemed like a good idea to me. I have to admit, I think I will get a lot more pleasure out of the baby furniture I have picked out for you. You will probably find the boxes they come in to be much more exciting. I'm glad we'll both find something amusing about the purchases and the packaging they come in!

I wonder a lot about you. What calms you? How much do you eat and how often? What do you eat? Will you like me? What will your favorite book be? Your favorite song? Are you going to poop 13 times a day? Do you like to sleep as much as I do (nudge nudge)? What makes you giggle?

This weekend I am going to Sweden for the first time in a couple of years. I hoping that reconnecting with Sweden will open the doors for me/us to return more often. I often imagine you playing with my friends' children. Maybe we could go for a walk on Djurgarden. I'm sure you will love running around naked in the archipelago. I promise to take you to Junibacken, the Pippi Longstocking museum.

Lily, I am not sure when you will be born or what your first months will be like, but I chose to adopt you from Kazakhstan because I know that the caretakers in the baby homes there will love you and take very good care of you. So when you go to sleep at night, I hope you will think of me as I do of you. I hope you know that you have a mama who just can't wait to find you, meet you, and bring you home.

Spakonya noche, lubyuimaya Lily. Ya tebya lubloo.

Love,
Mama